Dirty Thoughts: Reflections of Reflections

lex life 2017.jpg

2017...You Bi*ch You!

We were supposed to be friends and you faked me out like a sucker!

Even with all that... I still loved you anyway.

Why? Because that's life!

It was prophesied that I would have an eventful year. That I would experience unexplainable wonders and have the time of my life. I was geeeeeeked. Oh, yes! By all means the prophecy held true, I just didn't factor in that some of those “wonders” would drop kick me through a wormhole then spit me out. I didn't consider the negative. I forgot to be mindful of the balance.

Let’s get personal:

This year I said goodbye to some deadweight. I applied to grad school and got in. My best friend and little sister moved away. My brother died. I found out that the man of my dreams was in love with me (we SZA’d Weekend that mess and started WWIII).  Dirty (for all intensive purposes) turned into “Dirtaña”. I put some people in some bad positions, and couldn’t fix it (karma me). I hit the east coast, the west coast, down south and parts in between. I went to Lambeau field (Thank you lawd my football dreams have been made!). I found out that being blonde makes you a target and that enemies & fans are one in the same (watch your back).

With all that my vision got a bit blurry, the good got messy and the messy got good, and ya girl forgot to “BREATHE!” (Like my favorite Fabolous song). Now that my year is coming to an end, I’m on an up, but that up comes with a thorough understanding that there is a balance that comes with “eventful”. It's not all “unicorns and glitter!” (In my Progressive Flo voice), in order to get what you need, you have to confront your fears and suck up all that pride and say, “Self...you gotta do better!”

So here is my formal apology to anybody who thought they were going to ride this low with me or anybody who thought my word was not going to be bond this time around. Unfortunately, for yall I'm not going to keep taking these killer L’s and letting yall suck the soul out of me.