“I mean I’m in my chest. It’s Killer Season. My focus is to annihilate this semester.” - an excerpt from a conversation I had with Big BaeBee last week.
As I hit the ground running making sure not to slip up with my responsibilities outside of my role at CopyWrite, it has become a symbolic time. The same way the chill rushed through the air and Hell as we know it froze overnight, spite with a blizzard of judgement came rushing into my world killing all the warm memories that had kept me silent for the past year (with only subliminal messages projected to those who needed to know).
The first reading of the semester would find a way to deliver me a message that would calm my nerves, put that ego back in my chest, remove the gloves in a way that coerces my friends turned foes to keep watching and allow me to laugh at the “loss” I just took.
(Real question is are you reading this? Lol)
Scholar, Kwame Anthony Appiahjan’s article “The Case for Contamination” (2006), delivered some insightful takes on globalizing factors of homogeneity that question limits of tolerance and concepts of Universal Truths. This banter of right and wrong projected by the westernized society onto other existences, customs, beliefs, life styles, practices, (you name it), has been indoctrinated into even your average citizen and boy oh boy how they forget that it was the colonizing, genocide creating, aristocratic, white male who started those “moral” trends.
But it is this quote that Appiahjan’s concluded his theory with that resonated with me:
“When we make judgments, after all, it's rarely because we have applied well-thought-out principles to a set of facts and deduced an answer. Our efforts to justify what we have done -- or what we plan to do -- are typically made up after the event, rationalizations of what we have decided intuitively to do. And a good deal of what we intuitively take to be right, we take to be right just because it is what we are used to. That does not mean, however, that we cannot become accustomed to doing things differently.”
I fuckin’ snickered with my nerdy self in understanding that my recent plight had been a cast of judgement of others not understanding their own moral compass, choosing to point to structured “rights”, accept the “wrongs” that they preferred, and rationalize after making a “Fuck you! I can't deal with your truth.” it hurts my soul, decision. Bloop, that's called hypocrisy, sweetie.
I say all that to say this. . . The next day I walked to the class I was about to teach, because yup, I do that too, listening to Bone Thugs n Harmony - Thuggish Ruggish Bone, because I’m Dirty Bone (Lol) and I’m living my truth. I’m about that life, and until those around me can say the same for themselves they will continue to drop into the homogeneous bucket of complacency. Trying to live to societal standards instead of fulfilling your purpose.
But if I have to make the reference more current *cues Chance The Rapper’s “I Might Need Security” & let me give my Soulja Boy on Breakfast Club speech. “I started this shit. Y’all shitted on me bro and laughed at me like I was nothing. I’m coming back with vengeance…DRAKEEEEEEEEE?????????” Soft natural stunt.