Dear Heart | Poem by Geronimo Ronin @blackyojimbo84

Dear Heart

 Dear Heart,

  Where do I even begin?

I pray for courage as I purge these thoughts,

And as I peer from within,

There’s much to address,

And if this chapter must close,

There are some things I have to say out loud,

Some truths that you must know. 

  Dear Heart,

  I was wrong! How many wrongs can I right?

How many days can I fight longing and wanting?

Missing your embrace your touch and laugh,

But they seem like echoing apparitions haunting my senses,

I stand looking at the desolation from the aftermath,

Of false statements and half-truths,

That took something so pure and made it mephitic,

ACIDIC,

I can’t stand looking at myself sometimes,

Trying to extend myself grace 

It’s my only chance at redemption,

And your contempt is warranted,

And my loneliness: a just sentence. 

Dear Heart,

 The say love is a battlefield,

I thought I was battle tested,

And I understood that time, and honesty, and care was all you requested,

I heard once that all is fair in love and war,

But no one expects to be hit with friendly fire,

I should’ve watched my aim,

I should’ve used safety with a loaded gun,

Instead of leaving you wounded,

In shock because of whom the shot came from

Dear Heart,

  I was cavalier and callous at times,

Biding my time as if the only affected was mines,

But broken clocks don’t keep track of time wasted,

Or time lost, or time unaccounted for,

Where time and time again all you asked was that when it came to other lovers,

NEVER! NO MORE. 

And for my recklessness and carelessness for my past crimes,

I have hurt a heart because I hurt hearts,

I didn’t know that last time would be the LAST TIME.

  Dear Heart,

  I can’t ask you to forgive me,

You’re erasing me to forget me,

Soon I’ll just be an unwanted memory,

A reminder of again why love isn’t hard,

But the people who fail to recognize and respect its purity,

A man of many words but failed to be a man of my word,

How absurd!

I stare at pictures of you and me and the gut-wrenching feeling….

Dear Heart, I’m so disturbed

  Dear Heart,

  This is goodbye forever, Adios!

I’ve lost many in my lifetime, but I’ll miss you the most,

Te’amo mi Corazon. I hope if you’ve moved on,

That they cherish your thoughtfulness and humor,

They learn to breathe love into you, 

And get it right where I got it wrong. 

I sit here listening to playlists you curated,

Listening to every song as a reminder of when you loved me,

Thinking had I taken the time to really study your language,

I would have known how to love you more fluently. 

No one is perfect I made my mistakes,

But how can I expect you to wait until I get it right?

My failure to move fast enough became my own personal slight.

Now I’m dead to you! Just a ghost! 

A mere remnant. 

Now you’re mere miles away yet the journey seems so distant.

So Dear Heart, please know I get it now. 

I know there’s nothing else I can do,

But press my hand on my dear heart, wondering who’s loving you.

/Geronimo Ronin @blackyojimbo84