#WordPlayWednesday - Reader Submission: The Reasons I Won't Leave

Reader’s Submission: (name withheld)

Here are words taken out of context. Emotional identification of the push and pull factors of maintaining things that we want, when they are hard to keep. If these words were said to you, where would you find your rebuttal? Word strategy. Word Play.

The Reasons I Won't Leave

stay, because you make me happy
stay, because people aren’t perfect
stay, because I care about you
stay, because I crave you
stay, because you give me reasons to keep pushing
stay, because just like you need me, I need you
stay, because every since you been here I’ve been some sort of happy
stay, because there are possibilities
stay, because when I leave I feel weak
stay, because when I don’t hear from you I’m empty
stay, because I’m only fulfilled when it’s you
stay, because no one else compares to you
stay,  because I have faith in you
stay, because I give a damn

stay...because I want to fucking be with you.

/CopyWrite Connect

#WordplayWednesday - September 11th 2016 4:30pm

What's the momentum behind the hand on the clock of society’s ideals? What are the reasons pushing us to behave and move through life in the ways that we do? This piece was one I wrote after leaving an abusive and toxic relationship. I was relieved to be free of that grasp. But in the same breath I was angry, bitter, vengeful, and broken over our falling out. This poem was the first of many that I have written on the road to catharsis and heart mending. It  was really a winning moment to create this piece and have a taste of peace within a dark space. Poetry truly helped save my life.

September 11th 2016 4:30pm

Today would have been seven years had you not found a new host
Today would have been seven years had I not had the courage to speak your truth

Today would have been seven years had I not had the strength to stand for my spirit and push you the fuck away
My day is melancholy and my aura, nostalgic
I find myself wondering if your thoughts are with me  
If you miss me
If late at night you find your pillow soaked with tears in my name
I wonder if you find yourself preoccupied, speaking my name in vain
With a deep sense of loss and pain lingering in the wrinkles of your mundane brain
Sometimes I wonder the level of impact my soul has left in your life
What memories have imprinted themselves in your cerebral?
Sometimes I wonder if I've left any strife
Behind
Have you repressed it all?
The smell of my breath hanging off the corners of your lips
The feel of my skin
The taste between my legs and the sensation within?
Does my face greet you when you close your eyes?
And drift to the place where you left your lineage deep between my thighs?
Do you wake up from the nightmare of realizing how great I was?
Do I haunt your dreams
Am I hovering in and out of the realms
Of your temporal lobes?
Is your life unraveling at the seams?
When you turn over in bed and her eyes meet your gaze,
Do they pierce your system like rays of gamma beams?
The way my own did
Do you find yourself lost like a kid
Yearning for my presence
Yearning for my warmth
Reminiscing in the scent of my existence
I hope I torment your every decision
That late in the night I plague your beleaguered visions
I hope I trigger your skin to break out in lesions
At the remembrance of my touch
And every memory of when we fucked leaves you dried
in desolation
Buried deep in destruction and disoriented in a profound depression
Gripping the air for my hand and the vivacity I was once gave you
I curse your vigor with the venom of my ancestors
Generations deep
I curse your aspirations to drown in a spiritless lackluster four score deep
And every place you creep
Fills with a void of desperation and the moves you make fall into infinite hibernation

I often find myself wondering if your thoughts are with me
I know they are, you will never be rid of me
No matter how forcefully you try
No matter how often you peer into the mirror and convince yourself of the lie
The will of my being has clipped your wings and you can no longer fly.
 

Introducing #WordplayWednesdays - "You can't swim and I can't teach you"

What is the purpose of #WordplayWednesdays?

The focal point of poetry is to tell a story, a fable of the heart and mind. A poem’s purpose is to manifest a painting of connection between life experiences and the emotional core of a person’s psyche. Creative writing gives a platform for self and soul expression to its audience. Natalia (The Freelancer) for CW, wants her words to bring people back to a place where they find memories filled with profound feeling. A place where they realize they are not alone.

Check out Natalia's #WordplayWednesday for your "new" poetry fix. If you would like to contribute to the narrative please email us your submissions, subject: Wordplay Wednesdays at Copywrite.mke@gmail.com

You can't swim and I can't teach you

How did I get so lost in you
Without even knowing who I am with you
How do I want to love you like no one has tried to love you before
when I can't even break down walls
When I can't even breathe vulnerability in your presence
Let the guard fall, let the curtain fall, give into the unknown and take a bow
How can I ask and crave from you love
When I'm still learning how
I made sure to not fill you within my void
A void I had once thought of as so insignificant
A void I had thought of as irrelevant
Filled properly with self-love and reciprocal relationships
But now I know this void still remains
And pieces of you somehow fell in
I let them fall thinking I was in control
Thinking I was present in every moment we shared
Thinking my past was just that and wouldn't show up to take its toll
When in reality
I was drowning in your attention
Melting under your touch
Forgetting to be present
Forgetting that you didn't know enough
Forgetting that I could be too much
I want to unlearn for you
And for me
I want to be better for me
For you
I want to be the best me
Because I know it's what I deserve
Because I know it's what you deserve
But how selfish of me to ask of you what I know I wouldn't give
How selfish of me to ask you to sit around and wait for me to grow
I mean I want us to grow together and be good together
Be great together
But how can I ask you to be next to me in a journey that could hurt you along the way
How can I ask you to commit to love
If I'm still learning how to give it away
I want you to stay
I damn near want to get on my knees and beg you to stay
Say hey
Look me in the eyes
Can’t you see good in me
Can't see all the good I could be
Can't you see all ways I could love you
Reciprocal and healthily
Beneficial and mutually
Always giving
And reminding myself to let you be free
Can't you see inside of me
How heavy and sweet my love would feel draped all around you
And inside you
But can I ask you to wait?
Can I ask you to stick around and watch me grow into someone you could never hate
I want you to see in me all the great I find in you
All the great I already have within
I want you to see the potential
Because I know it's inside
But can I ask you to wait
To stay awhile and join me on the ride
When I know how difficult it will be for you to swim against the tide
 

/Natalia